Child upbringing in the west is like working against the tide. A mother has to battle against the currents of the tide.
If a mother has to put in one hour of hard-work in a Muslim country, she will need 3 hours of hard work in a western country.
Few points to assist with child upbringing.
- If there’s a full time accessible Shia school, then better to put the child in that school rather than a public school as lots of undesirable things happen in a public school. The quality of the education in these schools, even if are little poorer, it is better to have a faithful adult than and arrogant faithless ‘successful’ adult.
- Try to create the right environment at home. Instead of associating the child with non Islamic heroes, associate and educate the children about Islamic heroes such as the children and heroes of Karbala. Pray together, Recite Dua Kumayl together on Thursdays etc. Doing Islamic activities together is very effective.
- Know the friends your child is hanging out with. It can take just one bad friend to mislead the child.
- Start teaching and training when the child is very young and not until they’re grown up where they are not ready to listen
- Use stick and carrot method if necessary, be smart and astute. If the child doesn’t want to pray etc, either try to win them over by giving more privileges or remove the privileges until the Islamic duties are adhered to. This is especially true when they are younger. Tame your child’s desires and discipline them gently but effectively.
- Do not say, ‘my child doesn’t listen or he/she’s too young.’ If your child wakes up one day and say they don’t want to go school, all hell breaks loose in the house. The same reaction should also take place if the child says they don’t want to wear the hijab or pray etc.
- Always prioritize faith over everything. There is no benefit in getting a child to grow up and become a CEO or doctor who has no faith..
- Work for the hereafter and not for the world.
Sayed then took some questions from the parents regarding parents saying that children are coerced to do activities that they should not do (like dancing and Music classes in schools) to which Sayed replied that the parents must work with the teachers to ensure that teacher are educated. The freedom of religion in the West is a powerful freedom we must exercise at all times.
Parents are advised to also educate themselves in Islam as much as possible. To that end IHIC school runs parents classes from 2-3:00pm every Saturday during school term to assist in this. Please contact us if you need more details.